Is it possible to worry about that which hasn’t come? Well, perhaps, it is definitely possible, but is it necessary? Is it worth your time? Is it something you can believe in? All the prophets say yes…and no.
God tells us, while there are terrible things to come, we should trust in Him and in His desire to save us. And that is the conundrum for all of us as humans. As weak, scared creatures. How to trust in a Someone who we are unsure whether He has proven Himself. Yet, hasn't He proven His Love to us time and again and again, and yet again?
I was not an example of goodness. Not through the majority of my life, for sure. I felt, however, that I was always lacking – not smart enough, not good enough, not beautiful enough, not worthy enough. I fought those things. I fought believing that I could be these things.
For the lonely, here is a stunning thing - a revelation that is difficult for me to admit. At one point in my life, there were many terrible things going on. And before that, here were many things which had convinced me that I was not worth much. So, I found myself, despite the love of family and friends, desperately wanting, craving to die. I was not good enough. I was not lovable enough. Not smart enough. Not interesting enough. Not anything enough. I was a black hole. A pit that had no worth. I was nothing.
Finally, after failure and after failure that enough was enough. I had decided how I would take my life. I decided when and where and how. I had decided what I thought would be the most painless avenue to save my family – my mother in particular – so that no memories of our joy would be connected to where it would happen. It would be miles away from happy home.
That afternoon, I indulged myself in those final hours. I admired my last sunset – awed by its uniqueness. By its detail. Awed by its color. I thought, how incredibly detailed the edges of the colors were. How many unique sunsets had I witnessed? The double rainbow over the clouded mountains with a desert lit bright gold by the sun. A double rainbow so large and breathtaking that at that moment, I had to stop, to pull over in my car, and wonder at its beauty - at the amazing formation that I had never seen before or since. It was an astounding gift, I knew.
Now I was at a different, more difficult time in my life. I couldn’t appreciate that depth of beauty. Not that faithless afternoon. Life was meant to be over, but then, it wasn’t.
Because He spoke. He spoke as clearly as one person speaks to another.
He asked, out of my miserable blue, “Do you like My sunsets, Child?”
What an unlikely yet clear question. “Well, yes, of course I do! Why wouldn’t I?” I responded heatedly.
“What if I were to take sunsets and sunrises away? What if light would immediately turn to dark and dark to light without a transition – without sunrise and sunset?”
I replied, “Well, that’s a TERRIBLE idea! The world would miss those transitions! It would take away the unique clouds and details and colors! Why would You want to take away from us something so special and beautiful and necessary? Why would You do that?!”
He responded in a way that changed my life.
He asked, “Linda, Child, you are so much more precious than a sunset. If you were to take yourself out of this world, how much worse would that be? Your uniqueness. Your beauty. Your necessity. Why would you consider it, my Love?”
What love! What recognition! How did He notice someone so little and pitiful and nothing! It is a reminder. It is a need for deep understanding. We are beyond precious to God. He wants our Love. Our Love gives Him back beauty and amazement and wonder.
How can we not believe and accept and wonder? Are we not small within our own world and then smaller still within the universe and then further still to the wonders that we can’t imagine in our smallness? Doesn’t that make life a miracle in its own right?
It is my wish that every soul in this mad world recognize the touch of God. Not everyone will hear and answer. But it is my wish, through every evangelical work, that souls are saved. Through a belief in the mystical. Through the love and fathomless miracles that are God. For He is ineffable and glorious and BIG!
It is a sadness and a fear and a longing…that people choose darkness, even unrecognized as such, over the simplicity of Love and peace and charity. Thus, as one who is so blessed for having been touched in the most miraculous, blesséd, and holiest of ways, I pray. I pray for those who have strayed.
I pray for myself too. For who amongst us is worthy? None. And so, with all of my heart, as weak as my love might be and as faulty as my reconciliation is, I beg our Loving Father to forgive me in all these weaknesses. I beg for forgiveness for all the sins that I recall and do not recall.
Let us trust in your Love and mercy to forgive us and allow us to be led under the safety of Your Mother’s mantle, even though we have been remiss to doing so. Our co-redemptrix will deny no one. Thus, we give to her all the thanks and love that she is worthy of as the Beauteous Mother of Christ, our Lord Jesus and Savior.
Oh, Blessed One, we know that mercy is within You. We understand that the Feast of your Great Mercy is about to wane.
Thus, it is of vital importance that you partake of the Most Holy of Hosts.
There will be sacrilegious acts. Protect Me, oh Children and see that I am not disregarded as refuse. For My Holiness is sacred and you shall be My Guards. Always My guardians.
[I had a dream that within the humblest of churches, I found a Eucharist tossed within the pews. Again, another on the floor of the church. My heart was staggered by this, especially because the priest didn't know what to do.]
Beauteous Children, take heed and know that I am your protection and your Love. How things shall change for you. Will you live without luxuries and conveniences? Shall you live comfortable without the things that bring you to your knees?
Children, water shall be scarce. Food will not be available. These things will not be believed until the shelves are bare, and neighbors turn against neighbors for succor.
Oh, Children, turn to Me in all things. I will provide. Even when it seems impossible, if you will just trust in Me as a child trusts in his Parent, I will provide succor and life. You shall not starve, nor will you thirst. You need only trust in Me. Oh, My Children, how few believe in the mysticism of My Glory and miracles.
Yet, I shall provide such miracles as to make man believe, and those who do not believe and who attribute my miracles to circumstance shall see the errors of their ways. And those who do not turn to Me will suffer much by their choices.
Stay with Me, oh Children of My light. Do not falter, as it is so easy do so. Do not falter. Love, My Beloved Children. Love.