He can leave you without words…. and He has!

Hello brothers and sisters, I hope you are well. I will continue sharing my story as I have been directed to do – I only hope it helps someone! I wondered why I was to wait until Thanksgiving to post this, then it came to me… somewhere out there is a brother or sister who is not enjoying this day very much. This is for you. Do NOT give up hope, you are NOT alone! So here we go…

You know I have been in this relationship with God for a long time – 30 years now. The one thing I can guarantee you is we will NEVER figure Him out! Also, His ways can definitely NOT be our ways. For those of you who can identify with what I am saying, you understand, for those of you who can’t – I believe this is something you can only know by experiencing it. Much like loss.

They say you don’t miss something until it is gone. Never have I found this to be more true than when God goes silent (at least for me); by the way for those of you who have been following the “Principles”, this is one of the last ones He shared with me – “When I go Silent”.

This has been some of the toughest times I have faced. Having God be present at every turn was my standard norm. I would pray and there would be an outcome. One that could be seen visibly in this world, PLUS… I would hear Him speak regarding just about anything. It was the most amazing feeling to experience that! It was something that I thought would last forever… but that is NOT how we grow, is it? Unfortunately the answer is, Nope! We tend to grow through hardships and suffering and it seems God wants that for us. To truly learn how to deny ourselves, take up that cross and follow Him. You see brothers and sisters, the way in which we think and the way in which we act is all we know. But our Father wants more for us than to be prisoners of our own making. It is too easy for the evil one to manipulate us there. God wants us to be free. Again, unfortunately in order for us to get there we have to enter His “training camp”. Welcome to growth!

You see the reason I have not been very active on this site is because all of this change sent me into a downward spiral and I found myself doubting everything that had ever happened to me in the spiritual realm. If you have been where I am talking about you know what that means. No more “hearing”, it seems as if every prayer has gone unheard! Your faith shows itself for what it is, are we really as strong as we thought? No consolation of any kind, only one disappointment after another. So much time spent in the head and prayer all of a sudden seems to have no life at all. This is a very REAL place to be brothers and sisters and God seems for some reason to want me to share mine with you. I believe there is someone somewhere who is suffering the same thing and God wants you to know you are NOT alone!!! God is here with us, He has just chosen the silence to bring us closer to Him. It is easy to love something or someone when you are receiving obvious benefit from it, but to love them as deep or deeper when it seems they have gone away or turned away from you is not. Somehow brothers and sisters God is working through this. We cannot give up hope (that is what the enemy wants) and we can’t abandon Him even though He feels a million miles away. This is the Body of Christ and we MUST stick together and be there for one another, especially in times that are tougher and without apparent joy. I have been told by priests and others who reach out to me to get back to sharing this story with you. I had a priest tell me this in the sacrament of confession last weekend – you know when that gets blurted out of someone's mouth randomly God is trying to reach you. Then a good brother of mine reached out early in the morning to say that God told him to tell me to share this with you. Now when I was sharing messages with you from God, I somewhat understood why He wanted you to hear them, but this made no sense to me as to why I would need to share it. So for whatever brother or sister of mine can benefit from this – I hope it reaches you.

I will continue as I can to share what I can muster up in this time. Again brothers and sisters if you have been in this place before you know how hard it is to find desire to do such things. If you have not yet experienced this… remember this writing. Rely on it so as to have some sort of “Understanding” that God is doing this and we just have to hang on.

That is enough for now brothers and sisters, I will share more as I can put the words together to express the experience that has no words. In ALL things let us remember to be grateful for we do not deserve anything of which we have because of our goodness, but because of His! Thank you God!

PS. I look forward to the day I can show you what He was doing – it is coming for me and for you!!!!