The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

January 27, 1912

The soul wants hiddenness.

This morning, Jesus showed me a soul who was crying, but it seemed, rather, to be a crying of love. Jesus clasped her, and it seemed that inside His Heart there was a cross which, pressing against her heart, made her feel abandonments, coldness, agonies, distractions, oppressions; and the soul wriggled about, and a few times she escaped from the arms of Jesus to put herself at His feet. Jesus wanted that, in her state, she would hold on, remaining in His arms, telling her: "If you are able to hold on in this state, remaining in my arms without wavering, this cross will be your sanctification; otherwise you will always stay at the same point."

On seeing this, I said: ‘Jesus, what do these people want from me? It seems to me that they want to take holy freedom away from me, and enter into the secrets that exist between me and You.’

And Jesus: "My daughter, if I allowed them to hear something of what you say to Me, it was because of their great faith; and if I did not do it, I would feel as if I were defrauding them. But let others try, and you will see that I would not even let you peep."

And I: ‘I fear, O Jesus, that even at this moment we are not alone; and if You allow things to get out, where will my hiddenness in You be any more? Listen, O Jesus, I’m telling You this, nice and clear: I don’t want my nonsense to get out. You alone must know it, because You alone know me – how mad and bad I am, for I even reach the point of doing impertinences with You, and of becoming fussy as if I were a little girl. Who would ever reach this point? No one – only my madness, my pride, my great wickedness. And since I see that You love me more, in order to have more love from You I continue with my nonsense, caring about nothing but to be your amusement. What do others know about this, O dear Jesus?’

"My daughter, do not worry, I told you that I too don’t want this habitually – at most, once in a hundred times." And almost to distract me He added: "Tell me, what do you want to say to those who are in Heaven?"

And I: ‘By myself I can say nothing to no one – only to You can I say everything. Through You, You will tell them that I regard and greet everyone – the sweet Mama, the saints and the angels my brothers, and the virgins, my sisters. And You will tell them to remember the poor exiled one.’