The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

December 25, 1920

The Sacramental lot of Jesus is even harder than His lot as an Infant.

As I was in my usual state, I found myself outside of myself, together with Jesus. I was walking a long way, and on this journey, now I walked with Jesus, now I was with my Queen Mama. If Jesus disappeared, I found myself with Mama; and if She disappeared, I found myself with Jesus. During this walk, they told me many things. Jesus and Mama were very affable, with an enchanting sweetness. I forgot everything - my bitternesses, and even their privations… I thought I would never lose them again. Oh, how easy it is to forget evil in the face of good!

Now, at the end of the walk the Celestial Mama took me in her arms. I was very, very little, and She said to me: "My daughter, I want to strengthen you in everything." And it seemed that She was marking my forehead with her holy hand, as if She were writing and placing a seal on it; then, it seemed that She was writing in my eyes, in my mouth, in my heart, in my hands and feet, placing a seal upon them. I wanted to see what She was writing, but I could not read that script. Only on my mouth I saw two letters which said, ‘Annihilation of every taste’, and immediately I said: ‘Thank you, O Mama - you take away from me every taste which is not Jesus.’ I wanted to understand more, but Mama told me: "It is not necessary for you to know. Trust Me, I did to you what was needed." She blessed me and disappeared, and I found myself inside myself.

Afterwards, my sweet Jesus came back. He was a tender Little Baby, wailing, crying and shivering with cold. He threw Himself into my arms to be warmed. I squeezed Him so very tightly to myself, and according to my usual way, I fused myself in His Will in order to find the thoughts of all with mine, and surround shivering Jesus with adorations from all created intellects; in order to find the gazes of all, and make all look at Jesus and distract Him from crying; in order to find the mouths, the words, the voices of all creatures, that all might kiss Him so as not to make Him wail, and might warm Him with their breath. While I was doing this, the Infant Jesus stopped wailing and crying and, as though warmed, He told me: "My daughter, did you see what made Me shiver, cry and wail? The abandonment of creatures. You placed them all around Me; I felt I was being watched and kissed by all, so I stopped crying.

However, know that my Sacramental lot is even harder than my lot as an Infant. Though cold, the grotto was spacious, and had air to breathe; the Host too is cold, but so small that I almost lack air. In the grotto I had a manger with a little hay for bed; in my Sacramental Life, I don’t even have hay, and I have nothing but hard and ice cold metals for bed. In the grotto I had my dear Mama who took Me very often with her most pure hands, covered Me with ardent kisses in order to warm Me, soothed my crying, and nourished Me with her most sweet milk. In my Sacramental Life it is all the opposite: I do not have a Mama; if they take Me, I feel the touch of unworthy hands which smell like earth and muck. Oh! how I feel their stench - more than the manure I smelled in the grotto. Instead of covering Me with kisses, they touch Me with irreverent acts; instead of milk, they give Me the bile of sacrileges, of indifference, and of coldness. In the grotto, Saint Joseph never left Me without the light of a little lantern at night. Here in the Sacrament, how many times I remain in the dark also at night! Oh, how much more painful is my Sacramental lot! How many hidden tears, not seen by anyone. How many wails not listened to. If my lot as an Infant moved you to pity, much more should my Sacramental lot move you to pity."