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I felt oppressed because of the privation of my sweet Jesus, with the addition that my Confessor - because I didn’t have the trust to open up with him, and because I was bad - had denied me the absolution. So, having received Holy Communion, I abandoned myself in the arms of my most sweet Jesus, telling Him: ‘My love, help me - do not abandon me. You know in what state I find myself because of your privation; and still, instead of help, creatures add pains to pains. Without You, I have no one else with whom to cry for my hard destiny of having lost You. This should push You more not to leave me alone - to keep at least company to a poor abandoned one, who lives dying in her hard exile. Therefore, You, Who are the Highest Priest, give me the absolution. Tell me that you forgive the sins that are in my soul. Let me hear your most sweet voice, which gives me life and forgiveness.’
Now, while I was pouring out my pain with Jesus, He made Himself seen in my interior. The Sacramental veils formed like a mirror in which Jesus was... alive and real. And my sweet Jesus told me: "My daughter, this mirror is the accident of bread, which keeps Me imprisoned within them. I form my Life in the Host, but It does not give Me anything - not one affection, not a heartbeat, not the tiniest ‘I love you.’ It is as if dead for Me. I remain alone, without the shadow of anything in return. Therefore my Love is almost impatient to get out, to break this glass, descending into hearts, in order to find in them that return which the Host doesn’t know how to give Me, nor can it do so.
But do you know where I find my true return? In the soul who lives in my Will. As soon as I descend into her heart, I consume the accidents of the Host, because I know that more noble accidents, more dear to Me, are ready to imprison Me, in order to keep Me inside that heart, which will not only give Me life in itself - but life for life. I will no longer be alone, but with my most faithful company. We will be two hearts palpitating together; we will love united; our desires will be one. So, I remain in her, and I live my Life there - alive and real - just as I do in the Most Holy Sacrament. But do you know what these accidents are which I find in the soul who does my Will? These are her acts done in my Volition which - more than accidents - extend themselves around Me; they imprison Me, but inside a noble, Divine prison, not a dark one, because her acts done in my Will illuminate and warm, more than sun. Oh, how happy I feel to live my real Life in her. I feel as if I were inside my Celestial Royal Palace! Look at Me in your heart; how happy I am; how I delight and feel the purest joys!"
And I: ‘My beloved Jesus, isn’t this a new and special thing that you are telling me - that you live your real Life in one who lives in your Will? Isn’t this rather the mystical Life, which You live in the hearts that possess your Grace?’
And Jesus: "No, no, it is not a mystical Life, as it is for those who possess my Grace, but who do not live with their acts identified in my Volition, and therefore do not have sufficient material to form the accidents and imprison Me. It would be as if the Priest lacked the Host, and still wanted to pronounce the words of the Consecration. He could pronounce them, but he would say them to the empty space - my Sacramental Life would certainly not have existence. In the same way, I find Myself in the hearts which might possess my Grace, but do not live completely in my Will. I am in them by Grace, but not in reality."
And I: ‘My love, but how is it possible that You can really live in the soul who lives in your Will?’ And Jesus: "My daughter, don’t I perhaps live in the Sacramental Host, alive and real - in Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity? And why do I live in the Host in Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity? Because there is not a will which is opposed to Mine. If I found in the Host a Will opposed to Mine, I would not form either a real or a perennial Life in it. This is also the reason for which the Sacramental accidents are consumed when creatures receive Me: I do not find a human will united with Mine, disposed to give itself in order to acquire my Will; rather, I find a will which wants to act, and do it by itself. So I make my little visit, and I leave.
On the other hand, for one who lives in my Will, my Volition and hers are one. And if I do this in the Host, how much more can I do it in her; more so, since I find a heartbeat, an affection, my reward and interest - all that I do not find in the Host. My real Life is necessary to the soul who lives in my Will; otherwise how could she live in my Volition?
Ah, you don’t want to understand that the Sanctity of living in my Will is a Sanctity completely different from the other Sanctities. Except for the crosses, the mortifications, the necessary acts of life which, done in my Will, embellish her even more, it is nothing other than the life of the Blessed in Heaven who, living in my Will, by virtue of It, possess Me within each one of them, as if I were only for each one - alive and real - and not mystically, but really dwelling within them. And just as this could not be called "Life of Heaven" if they did not have Me within them as their own Life; and their happiness would not be perfect and complete, if even a tiny particle of my Life were missing in them; in the same way, my Will would be neither full nor perfect in one who lives in my Volition, if my real Life - which this Will emits - were missing.
It is true that these are all prodigies of my Love. In fact, this is the prodigy of prodigies, which my Will has kept within Itself until now, and which It now wants to deliver in order to achieve the primary purpose of the Creation of man. Therefore, I want to form my first real Life within you."
In hearing this, I said: ‘Ah, my love, Jesus; yet, I feel so bad for all these contrasts. And You know it...! It is true that this serves me to abandon myself more into your arms, and to ask from You what they do not give me; but with all this, I feel a breath of disturbance that troubles the peace of my soul. And you are telling me that You want to form your real Life in me? Oh, how far I am from this!"
And Jesus, again: "Daughter, don’t worry about this. All that I want is that you add nothing of your own, and that you obey as much as you can. It is known that all other sanctities - that is, those of obedience and of other virtues - are not exempt from pettiness, disturbance, arguments and wastes of time, which prevent the forming of a beautiful sun. At the most, they form a little star. Only the Sanctity of my Will is exempt from these miseries. Furthermore, my Will encloses all the Sacraments and their effects. Therefore, abandon yourself completely in my Will; make It yours, and you will receive the effects of the absolution, or of anything else which you might be denied.
So, I recommend that you not waste any time, since by wasting time you hamper my real Life, which I am forming in you."
