✞ True trust reproduces Divine Life in the soul.
This morning, while I was in my usual state, in one instant I found myself within myself, but without being able to move. I realized that someone was entering my little room; then he closed the door again, and I felt he was drawing near my bed. In my mind I thought that someone had entered furtively, without anyone of my family seeing him, and had penetrated even into my little room. ‘Who knows what he will to do me?’ My fear was so great that I felt my blood freeze in my veins, and I trembled all over. Oh! God, what to do? I said to myself: ‘My family did not see him; I feel all numb and I cannot defend myself, nor can I ask for help. Jesus, Mary, my Mama – help me! Saint Joseph, defend me from this danger!’
When I realized that he was getting upon my bed, and he curled up near me, my fear was such that I opened my eyes and I said to him: ‘Tell me, who are you?’ He answered: "I am the poorest of the poor, I don’t have a place to stay. I have come to you, if you want to keep me with you in your little room. See, I am so poor that I don’t even have clothes; but you will take care of everything." I looked well at him; he was a five or six year old boy, without clothes, without shoes, but so very beautiful and graceful. Immediately I answered him: ‘For me, I would gladly keep you, but what will my father say? I am not a free person who can do whatever she wants; I have my parents who prevent me. As for clothing you, I can do it with my poor toils, I will make any sacrifice – but as for keeping you here, it is impossible. Besides, don’t you have a father, don’t you have a mother, don’t you have a place to stay?’
But the boy answered bitterly: "I have no one. O please! Don’t make me wander any more – let me stay with you!" I myself did not know what to do - how to keep him. A thought flashed within me: ‘Who knows whether it is Jesus? Or maybe it is some demon, to disturb me.’ So, again I said to him: ‘But, tell me the truth at least – who are you?’ And he repeated: "I am the poorest of the poor." I replied: ‘Have you learned how to make the sign of the cross?’ "Yes", he answered. ‘Well then, make it, I want to see how you make it.’ So he signed himself with the cross. I added: ‘And the Hail Mary – do you know how to say it?’ "Yes, but if you want me to say it, let us say it together."
I began the Hail Mary and he was saying it together with me, when a most pure light was unleashed from His adorable forehead, and I recognized that the poorest of the poor was Jesus. In one instant, through that light that Jesus sent me, He made me lose consciousness again, and drew me outside of myself. I saw myself all confused before Jesus, especially because of my many rebuffs, and immediately I said to Him: ‘My dear little one, forgive me. Had I recognized You, I would not have forbidden You to enter. And then, why did You not tell me that it was really You? I have many things to tell You; I would have told them to You, and would not have wasted time in so many useless things and fears. Besides, in order to keep You I don’t need my family – I can keep You freely, because You don’t allow Yourself to be seen by anyone.’ But while I was saying this, Jesus disappeared; and so it ended, leaving me a pain, for not having told Him anything of what I wanted to tell Him.