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My state of annihilation still continues. It was such that I did not dare to say a word to my beloved Jesus. But this morning, having compassion for my miserable state, Jesus Himself wanted to cheer me; and here is how: as He made Himself seen, and I felt all annihilated and ashamed before Him, Jesus drew near me, but so close, that it seemed that He was in me and I in Him; and He told me: "My beloved daughter, what is it that makes you so afflicted? Tell Me everything, for I will content You, and will remedy everything."
Since I continued to see myself the way I described the other day, in seeing myself so bad, I did not dare to tell Him anything. But Jesus repeated: "Come, come, tell Me what you want – do not hesitate." Seeing myself almost forced, bursting into flooding tears, I said to Him: "Holy Jesus, how do You want me not to be afflicted – after so many graces, I shouldn’t be so bad any more. Sometimes, also in the good works I try to do, I mix so many defects and imperfections, that I myself feel horror. What must they be before You, who are so perfect and holy? And then, the suffering, so very scarce compared to before, your long delays in coming – everything tells me in clear notes that my sins, my awful ingratitudes, are the cause of it, and that You, indignant with Me, deny me even that daily bread which You usually concede to everyone, which is the cross. So, You will end up abandoning me completely. Can there be a greater affliction than this?’ Jesus, all compassion for me, pressed me to His Heart and told me: "Do not fear, this morning we will do things together; in this way I will make up for your things."
So, first it seemed that Jesus contained a fount of water and another of blood within His breast, and in those two fountains He plunged my soul – first in the water, and then in the blood. Who can say how purified and embellished my soul became? Then, we began to pray together, reciting three Glory Be’s, and He told me that He was doing this to make up for my prayers and adorations to the Majesty of God. Oh, how beautiful and touching it was to pray together with Jesus! After this, Jesus told me: "Don’t let yourself be afflicted by the lack of suffering. Do you want to anticipate the hour established by Me? My operating is not hurried, but everything has its time. We will fulfill everything, but at the appropriate time."
Then, afterwards, because of a fully providential circumstance, unexpectedly, since the Viaticum had come out of the church for other sick people, I too received Communion. Who can say, after all that had passed between Jesus and me, the kisses and the caresses that Jesus gave me? It is impossible to say everything. After Communion, I seemed to see the Sacred Host, and in the Host I could see, now the mouth of Jesus, now His eyes, now one hand, and then He showed all of Himself. He transported me outside of myself, and I found myself, now in the vault of the heavens, now on earth in the midst of people, but always together with Jesus. Every once in a while He would repeat: "Oh, how beautiful you are, my beloved! If you knew how much I love you… And you, how much do you love Me?"
On hearing these words being spoken to me, I experienced such confusion that I felt I was dying; but in spite of this, I had the courage to say to Him: ‘Jesus, my beautiful One, yes, I love You very much. And You, if You really love me, tell me also, do You forgive me for all the evil I have done? But, concede also suffering to me.’ And Jesus: "Yes, I forgive you, and I want to content you by pouring in abundance my bitternesses into you." And so Jesus poured His bitternesses. It seemed to me that He had a fount of bitternesses in His Heart, received through the offenses of men, and most of it He poured into me. Then Jesus told me: "Tell Me, what else do you want?"
And I: ‘Holy Jesus, I commend to You my confessor – make him a saint, and grant him also health for his body. But then, is it completely your Will for this father to come?’ And Jesus: "Yes." And I: ‘If it were your Will, You would let him be well.’ And He: "Be quiet, do not want to investigate my judgments too much." At that very moment He showed me the improvement in the health of the body, and the sanctity of the soul of the confessor, and He added: "You want to rush things, but I do everything at the right time."
Then, I commended to Him the people that belonged to me, and I prayed for sinners, saying to Jesus: ‘Oh, how I wish that my body would split into tiny little pieces, provided that sinners would convert!’ So I kissed the forehead, the eyes, the face, the mouth of Jesus, doing various adorations and reparations for the offenses that sinners gave Him. Oh, how content Jesus was, and I too. Then, having Jesus promise to me that He would not leave me any more, I returned to myself; and so it ended.
