The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

October 28, 1899

Who am I, and who are you?

This morning my lovable Jesus came surrounded by a light, and looking at me, as though penetrating me everywhere, so much so, that I felt annihilated, He told me: ‘Who am I, and who are you?"

These words penetrated me deep into the marrow of my bones, and I could see the infinite distance that exists between the Infinite and the finite, between the All and the nothing. Not only this, but I could also see the malice of this nothing, and how it had covered itself with mud. It seemed to me like a fish that swims in the water; so was my soul swimming in rot, amid worms and many other things, which are fit only for striking horror to the sight. Oh! God, what an abominable sight! My soul would have wanted to flee before the sight of God trice Holy, but with two more words He binds me; and these are: "What is my Love for you? And what is your return for Me?"

Now, while at the first words I would have wanted to flee, frightened, from His presence, at these second words - "what is my Love for you?" - I found myself sunken, bound by His Love from all sides, in such a way that my existence was a product of His Love. So, if this Love would cease, I would no longer exist. It seemed to me that the beats of my heart, my intelligence, and even my breath, were a product of His Love. I was swimming in Him, and even if I wanted to flee, it seemed impossible for me to do it, because His Love surrounded me everywhere. My love, then, seemed like a little drop of water thrown into the sea, which disappears and can no longer be distinguished. How many things I understood – but if I wanted to tell them I would be too long.

Then Jesus disappeared, and I was left all confused. I saw myself all sin, and in my interior I kept imploring forgiveness and mercy. After a little while my only Good came back; I felt all soaked with bitterness and sorrow for my sins, and He told me: "My daughter, when a soul is convinced that she has done evil in offending Me, she already performs the office of Magdalene, who bathed my feet with her tears, anointed them with balm, and dried them with her hair. When the soul begins to look within herself at the evil she has done, and she feels sorrow for it, she prepares a bath for my wounds. In seeing her evil, she receives bitterness and feels sorrow for it, and by this she comes to anoint my wounds with a most exquisite balm. From this knowledge, the soul would want to make a reparation, and in seeing her past ingratitude, she feels love toward a God so good arise within her, and she would want to lay down her life to prove her love; and this is the hair which, like many gold chains, binds her to my love."