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This morning Jesus continued to make Himself seen afflicted. I did not have the courage to say even one word to my most patient Jesus for fear that He might resume His plaintive speech about the state of the religious. This, because obedience wants me to write everything, and also that which regards charity towards one’s neighbor, and this is so painful for me, that I had to fight by the force of my arms with lady obedience; more so, since she changed her appearance into that of a most powerful warrior, armed with his weapons to give me death. In truth, I found myself in such constraints, that I myself did not know what to do. To write about charity towards one’s neighbor according to the light that Jesus made me see, seemed impossible to me. I felt my heart being wounded by a thousand prickings; I felt my mouth being struck dumb, and my courage failing me; and I said to her: ‘Dear obedience, you know how much I love you, and that for love of you I would gladly give my life, but I see that I cannot do this, and you yourself can see the torture of my soul. O please! Do not make yourself an enemy, don’t be so ruthless with me, be more indulgent with one who loves you so much. O please! You yourself, come to me, and let us discuss together about what is most appropriate for us to say.’
So, it seemed that she laid down her fury, and she herself dictated what was most necessary, enclosing in a few words the whole sense of the different things that regarded Charity. At times, however, she wanted to be more detailed and I would say to her: ‘It is enough that they understand the meaning with a little bit of reflection. Isn’t it better to enclose all the meaning in one word, instead of many words?’ At times obedience would surrender, others, I would; and so it seems that we got along…
How much patience it takes with this blessed lady obedience – truly a lady, for it is enough to give her the right to lord, that changing her appearance into that of a most meek lamb, she herself makes the sacrifice of toiling, and allows the soul to rest with her Lord, placing herself around her with vigilant eye so that no one may dare to molest her and to interrupt her sleep. And while the soul sleeps, what does this noble lady do? She drips sweat from her forehead, hastening the toil that belonged to the soul – something that truly causes every human mind, the most intelligent, to be stupefied, and shakes every heart to love her.
Now, while I am saying this, in my interior I keep saying: ‘But, what is this obedience? What is it made of? What is the nourishment that sustains it?’ And Jesus makes His harmonious voice heard to my hearing, which says: "Do you want to know what obedience is? Obedience is the quintessence of love; obedience is the finest, the purest, the most perfect love, extracted from the most painful sacrifice - to destroy oneself in order to live again of God. Being most noble and divine, obedience tolerates nothing human in the soul, and nothing which does not belong to it. Therefore, all its attention is on destroying within the soul everything which does not belong to its divine nobility – that is, love of self. And once it has done this, it cares very little about whether it alone struggles and toils on behalf of the soul, while allowing the soul to rest peacefully. Finally, I Myself am obedience."
Who can say how amazed and ecstatic I remained on hearing these words of blessed Jesus? Oh, holy obedience, how incomprehensible you are! I prostrate myself at your feet and I adore you. I pray you to be my guide, teacher and light, along the disastrous path of life, so that, guided, instructed and escorted by your most pure light, with certainty, I may take possession of the eternal harbor.
I stop here, almost forcing myself to go out of this virtue of obedience, otherwise I would never stop speaking. So much is the light of this virtue which I see, that I could endlessly continue writing about it. But other things call me; therefore I keep silent and I go back to where I left.
So, I saw my sweet Jesus afflicted, and remembering that obedience had told me to pray for a certain person, with all my heart I commended him to Him, and Jesus told me: "My daughter, may he make all of his works shine with virtue alone; but especially, I recommend that he not meddle in the things of family interest. If he has something, let him give it away; if he does not, I don’t want him to get involved with anything else. He should let things be done by those who are supposed to, while he should remain disentangled, free, without getting muddy with earthly things; otherwise he would encounter the misfortune of the others who, since they wanted to meddle in some things of their families from the beginning, all the weight then fell upon their shoulders. And I, only because of my mercy, had to permit that they would not prosper, but rather, become poorer, so as to let them touch with their own hands how unseemly it is for a minister of mine to sully himself with earthly things. On the other hand – and this is word that came from my mouth – the ministers of my sanctuary, as long as they do not touch earthly things at all, would never lack their daily bread. Now, with these ones, if I had allowed them only to prosper, they would have sullied their hearts and would have cared neither about God nor about the things pertaining to their ministry. Now, bothered and tired of their state, they would want to shake it off, but they cannot, and this is the penalty for what they should not do."
Afterwards, I commended a sick person to Him, and Jesus showed His wounds, which that sick person had given to Him. I tried to pray Him, to placate Him, to repair Him, and it seemed that those wounds would heal. And Jesus, all benignity, told me: "My daughter, today you have performed for Me the office of a most skillful doctor, for you have tried not only to medicate and to bandage the wounds which that sick person gave to Me, but also to heal them. So I feel very much soothed and placated." Then I understood that by praying for the sick, one comes to perform the office of doctor for Our Lord, who suffers in His very images.
