The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

July 10, 1927

Privation of Jesus. How one who lives in the Divine Will is the triumph of God and of the soul.

I was doing the round in the Divine Will, and while my poor mind was going around through all created things impressing my ‘I love you’ even on the highest mountains and in the deepest valleys, in the darkest abysses of the earth and in the deepest ocean of the sea – in sum, everywhere; while I was doing this, my poor mind was tortured by the privation of my sweet Jesus, and my poor heart was tormented, because as much as I called Him with my love, I could find Him no more.  Oh, God! What pain!  I thought to myself:  ‘How is it possible that Jesus no longer listens to me?  And while I fill Heaven and earth with my ‘I love you’s’, none of my ‘I love you’s’ aims at Him to wound Him; and as it would make Him feel my wound, my torture, my torment, in feeling my very pains, so as not to feel them He would make up His mind to let Himself be found by the one who so much longs for Him?’  Ah! Jesus, how much it costs me to have known You and not to possess You, to love You and not to be loved back.  These are pains that cannot be described – there are no words to express them.  At that moment, my dear Jesus moved in my interior, and bursting into tears, sobbing – and His sob was so strong as to resound so penetrating to the ear of my body, that I too cried together with Him – told me:  “My daughter, how can you believe that I am far away?  How can you think that you are not loved back by your Jesus?  Each ‘I love you’ of yours was one more wound to my Heart, which made Me say:  ‘My daughter, you make your ‘I love you’ resound everywhere for Me – from the mountains, from the valleys, from the sea, from the flowery fields, from the sun – from everywhere.’  And though hidden in you, I repeated:  ‘I love you, my daughter’.  But I felt Myself cut to the quick when you thought that I did not love you back.  This cannot be, my daughter; not to love in return is not the nature of your Jesus, nor am I able to do so; and if I am hidden in you without revealing Myself, it is my justice that hides Me and wants to punish the peoples with strong scourges.  Oh! how many of them will pour upon the earth - and of all kinds, because they are irritating my justice very much.  I hide from you so that it may follow its course.”  Having said this, He kept silent and disappeared, and I was left feeling so bad that I could not stop crying. 

Than, later on, He came back and told me:  “My daughter, the triumph of God is the human will operating in His own.  This is His victory – to have that which came out of Him, come back into Himself, into His Will.  As the soul operates in It, she extends within the divine boundaries, and her acts take their place in everything that is eternal.  It is true that my Will is everywhere – there is not one point that can escape It, but where does It carry out Its power, Its divine operating?  In the soul who lives in It.  The soul who lives in It gives It the occasion for new works; she allows It to put out the beautiful and the holy which It possesses inside.  It happens as it did in Creation:  Our Being existed ab eterno[1], but nothing could be seen outside of Ourselves before Creation, because all Our operating, Our portents and beatitudes were carried out within Ourselves; but when Our Divine Being wanted to operate outside of Ourselves, Our Will had the occasion to operate, and It issued the whole universe, with such sumptuousness, order and harmony, as to form the amazement of all generations and the triumph and victory of Our Supreme Being.  The same with the soul who lives in Our Will:  as she operates, she gives It the occasion to form more works worthy of It.  Therefore, she is Our continuous triumph and the carrying out of Our works; she keeps the divine attitude up.  So, while forming Our triumph and Our victory, at the same time the soul triumphs and conquers the Divine Will.  Therefore, both one and the other are seen as victorious:  God and the littleness of the creature.  Do you think it is trivial that the littleness of the creature sings victory, moves a Divine Will to operate, and conquers It?”

After this, my poor mind continued to go around in the Creation, to bring before the Supreme Majesty all the acts that the Divine Will does in each created thing, and all those which It has done in the Sovereign Queen and in the Most Holy Humanity of Our Lord.  Reuniting everything together, I carried them like as many newborn of the Divine Will, all worthy of a God Trice Holy.  It seems to me that only the works of the Divine Will can give the most beautiful homages, and worthy of a God.  At that moment, my sweet Jesus moved in my interior and told me:  “My daughter, how admirable, harmonious, all ordered among themselves, and of rare beauty, are the acts done by my Will.  They are Our divine army which, lined up around the Supreme Being, forms Our glory, Our defense, Our happiness without end.  What comes out of the Divine Fiat carries the divine seal, and as they come out, more than legitimate children of Ours, they never lose life.  If you never give life to your will, you too can be called an act of the Divine Will; and as act of It, you will come to acquire the right over all of Its acts.  You will take your place in Our army, you will be Our legitimate daughter and as though a sister to all the acts of Our Will, and therefore, you will have the power to unite them all together, to bring Us the glory, the happiness of all the acts of the Eternal Fiat.  What a difference between one who is an act of the Divine Will and one who is not.  An act of It can be a sun, a heaven, a sea of eternal love, a beatitude and happiness that never ends.  What can one act of my Will not do?  My Will is eternal and makes Its acts eternal, It is immense light and all of Its acts have the fullness of light; there is nothing of It which does not invest Its acts.  On the other hand, one who is not act of the Divine Will – oh, how dissimilar he is!  He cannot take a place in the divine army, he will not be able to give joys and happinesses, his light will be so poor that he will hardly be able to look at himself; his acts, however good, because they are produced by the human will, will be like smoke that the wind disperses, or like flower that withers and dies.  What a difference, my daughter, between the two.”

[1] From eternity.