✞ Signs to know whether the soul is in Grace.
I was feeling oppressed and all annihilated within myself – good at nothing. So very often the privations of my beloved Jesus render me incapable of anything, and while on one hand I feel them vividly, lacerating my poor soul, on the other hand they render me dazed, petrified, as if I had no more life, or I feel life only to feel myself dying. Oh, God, what pains – they are without mercy and without pity! To live in the nightmare of a pain that brings me an infinite, immense eternal weight – I have no place to go, nor anything to do so as not to feel the enormous weight of this tremendous pain.
So I thought to myself: ‘I am no longer good at anything but to feel all the weight of my great misfortune of being without the One whom it seems to me that everyone else possesses. Only for me was this pain, so harrowing, reserved, of not possessing my Life, my All, my Jesus. Ah! Jesus, come back to the one whom You wounded and left prey to the pain of the wound which You Yourself gave her. And besides, why keep me alive when I am no longer good at doing anything?’ But while I was pouring out my sorrow, my highest Good, Jesus, moved in my interior, and clasping me all to Himself, told me: “My daughter, the earth, created by God as fertile and beautiful, with a most refulgent sun that illuminated it and delighted it, became full of thorns and all stony because of sin; the human will put to flight the Sun of Mine, and thick darkness covered it. And I keep you alive because you must remove all the stones from the earth and render it fertile again. Each act of the human will has been a stone that covered the beautiful earth created by Me; each venial sin has been a thorn, each grave sin has been a poison, and each good done outside of my Will has been like sand scattered over the land which, invading it completely, prevented the vegetation of even the smallest plant or some blade of grass which might sprout from underneath the stones. Now, my daughter, each act of yours done in my Will must remove one stone – and how many acts it takes to remove them all! And by never giving life to your will, you will call back the refulgent rays of the Sun of the Supreme Fiat to shine over these tenebrous lands, and these rays will call the mighty wind of grace which, with empire, will stir all that sand – that is, all that good done neither to do my Will, nor in It, nor out of love for Me, but good done to earn human esteem, glory and interest. Oh! how heavy this apparent good is – more than sand which prevents the vegetation of souls and renders them so sterile as to arouse pity. Then, the Sun of my Will, with Its fecundity, will change the thorns into flowers and fruits, and the wind of my grace will be the counterpoison and will pour life into souls.
So, you must be convinced that I keep you still alive in order to reorder the work of Creation, and just as one human will, by placing itself outside of Mine puts everything in disorder to the point of changing the face of the earth, in the same way, another human will which enters into Mine, and with repeated and incessant acts, must reorder everything and return to Me the sweet enchantment, the harmony, the beauty of the first times of Creation. Don’t you feel within yourself how large your field is? And as though going back to the terrestrial Eden, in which my Divine Will celebrated with the first acts of man and they enjoyed together the fertile and beautiful land It had given him, I call you to bind those first acts and to make you follow all the lands invaded by the human will, so that, embracing all times together, you may help to remove the stones, the thorns, the sand, with which the human will has reduced [those lands to such a state] as to arouse pity.”
So, my poor mind went back to Eden in the Divine Will, to enter into the unity of that one act which can only be found in It, and to descend to the very last times so that my love, my adoration, etc., might extend to all times and places, for all and for each one. But while I was thinking and doing this, I said to myself: ‘How much nonsense I am speaking – in the last times I hope, by the Lord’s grace, to be up there in the Celestial Fatherland; how will I be able to love in time while I am in Eternity?’ And my sweet Jesus, moving in my interior, told me: “My daughter, everything that is done in my Will has continuous life, because everything that is done in It has the love of its Creator as origin, which is not subject to ending – it loved, loves and will love always, nor can anyone interrupt this love. So, one who loves, who adores in my Will, does nothing but follow that eternal love, that perfect adoration of the Divine Persons, which have no beginning and no end. As the soul enters into my Will, she enters into the midst of Our acts and continues to love with Our love and to adore with Our adoration; and she remains bound to Our reciprocal love, to Our Will, which has the virtue of being unceasing in Its acts, and everything that others may do, is nothing other than the continuation of the act done in Our Divine Will. The acts done in It have perennial and continual life. Therefore, your love in the last times will be in nothing dissimilar to that of today; and if others love, they will love in and with your love, because it will be first act, having its origin in God. Therefore, from the Celestial Fatherland you will love in time and in eternity; my Will will keep your love jealously just as It keeps Its own, and wherever It extends and has Its life, It will make you love and adore everywhere. For one who lives in my Will, all of her acts have all the divine acts, Our very way of operating, as their beginning and end. So, the soul does nothing but follow what God does. The Sovereign Queen, who lived perfect life in the Royal Palace of Our Will, had no other love, no other adoration but Our own. All of her acts can be seen as so fused in Ours, that what in Our acts is nature, in Her is grace; and since Her acts did not have their origin in Her will, but in Ours, by right She has primacy over all the acts of creatures. Therefore, if you love, the Celestial Queen has primacy over your love, and you follow Her love just as you follow Ours, and We and the Great Lady continue to love in your love; and so with anything that you may do in Our Will. So, when you come to the Celestial Fatherland, your love will not depart from the earth, but will continue to love in each creature. Therefore, even from now, my Divine Fiat makes you extend your love to the past, to the present and to the future, to give you the right that your love may extend everywhere and to all times, and it may never cease to love. Here is the great difference between one who lives in my Will and one who lives outside of It.”