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My abandonment continues in the Holy Volition; but, though abandoned, I feel vividly my reluctances in falling into the state of my usual sufferings; and these reluctances are caused by the struggles and by the impositions that there are over me. So, in the bitterness of my soul, I was saying to my sweet Jesus: “My Love, You want to make me fall into sufferings? Go ahead; but, from myself, I don’t want to put my will in. You will do it Yourself, I will be happy; but from myself I don’t want to put anything.”
And Jesus, all afflicted, told me: “My daughter, what am I to do with your pains without your will? I do not know what to do with them, nor will they be able to serve Me to disarm Divine Justice, or to placate My just indignation; because what the creature has, of the most beautiful and of the most precious, is the will. The will is gold; all the rest of hers are superficial things, things without substance, and the very pains are without value. On the other hand, if the gold thread of the spontaneous will flows in the pains, it has the virtue of changing them into most pure gold, worthy of He who suffered everything voluntarily, and even death itself for love of creatures. If I wanted pains without will, there is such an abundance of them in the world, that I could take as much as I want; but since the gold thread of their will is missing, they are not for Me, they do not attract Me, they do not wound My Heart, nor do I find in them the echo of My voluntary pains; therefore, they do not have the virtue of changing the scourges into grace. So, the pains without will are empty inside, without fullness of grace, without beauty, without power over My Divine Heart. A quarter of an hour of voluntary pains is enough to make up for and surpass all the most atrocious pains that exist in the world; because these are in the human order, while voluntary ones are in the Divine Order. And besides, from the little daughter of My Will I would never accept her pains without the spontaneity of her will; it was the will that rendered you beautiful and graceful in My eyes; that opened the currents of My manifestations on My Divine Will; and that, with a magnetic force, drew Me to make My visits so often to your soul. Your will, sacrificed voluntarily for love of Me, was My smile, My amusement, and had the virtue of changing My sorrows into joys. Therefore, I will rather content Myself with keeping the pains only for Myself—rather than making you suffer without the spontaneous acceptance of your will. Oh! how you would degrade yourself, and would go down to the low level of the children of the human will, losing the noble title, the precious characteristic of daughter of My Will. In My Will there is no forcing; in fact, no one forced It in creating the heavens, the sun, the earth and man himself, but It acted voluntarily without anyone saying anything to It, for love of creatures; yet It knew how much It was going to suffer because of them. So I want for one who wants to live of My Will; force[1] is of the human nature, force is impotence, is mutability; force is the true character of the human will. Therefore, be attentive, good daughter; let us not change things, and do not want to give this sorrow to My Heart, too embittered.”
And I, in my bitterness, said: “My Jesus, yet, those who are above me tell me: ‘How can this ever be possible—that because of four or five people who wanted to do evil, He would send so many chastisements? Rather, Our Lord is right that the sins are many, and therefore the scourges,’ and many other things that they say, and that You know.”
And Jesus, all goodness, added: “My daughter, how they deceive themselves; it is not because of the sin of the four or five who, with so much perfidy, have reached the point of calumnies. These will be punished individually. But it is the support that they have taken away from Me. Your sufferings served Me as support; once the support is taken away from Me, My Justice finds no one who sustains It, and remaining without a place to lean on, It made continuous and terrible scourges pour down during the time in which you have been free of your usual pains. But if the support had been there, even if it had happened, it would have been a tenth, or a fifth. More so, since this support was formed of voluntary pains and was wanted by Me, and in voluntary pains enters a Divine Strength. I could say that I Myself, in your pains, made Myself support in order to sustain My Justice. Now, not having your pains, I lack the material in order to form the support, and therefore My Justice remains free to do what It wants. From this they should comprehend the great good I have done to all and to the entire world in keeping you for so many years in the state of voluntary pains. Therefore, if you don’t want My Justice to continue to shake the earth, do not deny Me your voluntary pains; and I will help you. Do not fear, let Me do.”
After this, I abandoned all of myself in the Divine Fiat, with the fear that I might deny something to Jesus, and that I might fail to do always the Divine Will. This fear tears my soul and makes me restless, and only in the presence of Jesus do I feel myself the peacemaker of long ago; but as soon as I lose sight of Him, I return under the storm of worries, of fears and reluctances. And my sweet Jesus, to cheer me, added: “Good daughter, courage, be cheered, do not lose heart. Do you want to know how the Light of My Divine Will is formed in your soul? The repeated desires are like many breaths that, breathing over your soul, call the little flame, the little drops of light, to light up inside of it; and the more intensely you desire, the more it breathes to nourish the little flame and enlarge it more. If the breath ceases, there is danger that the little flame will be extinguished. So, in order to form and light the little flame, true and incessant desires are needed; and in order to mature and enlarge the light, love is needed, that contains the seed of light. In vain would you breathe with your desires if the inflammable material were missing over your repeated breaths. But who places this little flame in safety, in such a way as to render it everlasting, with no danger of being extinguished? The acts done in My Divine Will. They take the material for lighting the little flame of Our Eternal Light, which is not subject to being extinguished, and they keep it always alive and always growing. And the human will, before this Light, eclipses itself and becomes blind; and seeing itself blind, it no longer feels the right to act, and it gives peace to the poor creature. Therefore, do not fear, I Myself will help you to breathe; we will breathe together, so the little flame will be more beautiful and more refulgent.”
Fiat!!!
[1] Read: doing things unwillingly, by force.
