The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

April 24, 1900

The Eucharist and suffering.

This morning, having received Communion, it seemed to me that the confessor was placing the intention of making me suffer the crucifixion, and at that very instant I saw my guardian Angel who laid me on the cross to make me suffer.  After this, I saw my sweet Jesus who compassionated me and told me:  “I am your refreshment, and my refreshment is your suffering.”  And He showed an unspeakable contentment for my suffering, and for the confessor who, by means of the obedience to suffer which he had given me, had procured this relief for Him.  Then He added:  “Since the Sacrament of the Eucharist is the fruit of the cross, I feel more disposed to concede suffering to you when you receive my Body.  In fact, in seeing you suffer, it seems to Me that I continue my passion for the good of souls - not mystically, but really; and this is a great relief for Me, because I collect the true fruit of my Cross and of the Eucharist.”

After this, He said:  “Up until now it was obedience that made you suffer; do you want me to amuse Myself a little by renewing again in you the crucifixion with my own hands?”  And I, though I felt great suffering and, still fresh, the pains of the cross which had been renewed in me, said:  ‘Lord, I am in your hands, do with me whatever You want.’  So, all content, Jesus again began to drive the nails into my hands and feet.  I felt such intensity of pain that I myself do not know how I remained alive, but I was content because I was making Jesus content.  Then, after He bent the nails, placing Himself near me, He began to say:  “How beautiful you are!  But how much more does your beauty grow in your suffering!  Oh, how dear you are to Me!  My eyes are wounded in looking at you, because they see my very image in you.”  And He said many other things, which it would be useless to repeat – first, because I am bad; second, because not seeing myself as the Lord tells me, I feel confusion and blushing in saying these things.  But I hope that the Lord will make me truly good and beautiful; and then, as my blushing would fade, I will be able to describe them.  So I stop here.