The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

July 19, 1900

Luisa offers herself to suffer, so that people might be spared.

This morning, after spending the whole night and great part of the morning waiting for my adorable Jesus, He was not deigning to come.  So, tired of waiting for Him, I tried to go out of my usual state, thinking that it might no longer be Will of God.  Almost impatient, while I was trying to go out of it, my benign Jesus moved within my heart, just barely making Himself seen and looking at me in silence.  Impatient as I was, I said to Him:  ‘My good Jesus, how can You be so cruel!  Can there be greater cruelty than this – abandoning a soul prey to the ruthless tyrant of love that makes her live in continuous agony?  Oh, how You have changed – from loving into cruel!’

While I was saying this, I saw many mutilated members of people before me, so I added:  ‘Ah, Lord, how much mutilated human flesh!  How many bitternesses and pains!  Ah, would it not have been a lesser cruelty if You had satisfied Yourself in this body of mine, by tearing it into as many pieces for as many divisions as You have caused in these members?  Would it not have been a lesser evil to see only one suffer, rather than many poor peoples?’  While I was saying this, Jesus continued to fix on me, as if He were struck – I cannot tell whether He was grieved too – and He said to me:  “Yet, this is the beginning of the game; this is still nothing compared to what will come.”  Having said this, He flew away from my sight, without letting me see Him any more, leaving me in a sea of bitternesses.