The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

March 15, 1900

Jesus feels disarmed by the victim souls.

Since He continued not to come, I was consumed with sorrow and I felt such a fever as to become delirious.  Now, since the confessor came to celebrate the Divine Sacrifice, I received Communion, but I could not see my dear Jesus as usual, so I began to speak my nonsense:  “Tell me, my Good, why do You not make Yourself seen?  This time it seems to me that I have given You no occasion to withdraw!  How can You just leave me like this?  Ah, not even the friends of this earth act in this way!  When they have to be apart, at least they say good bye to each other - and You? You say not even good bye to me?  How can it be?  Is this the way to behave?  Forgive me if I speak in this way, it is the fever that makes me delirious, and makes me reach folly.’  Who can say all the nonsense I spoke to Him?  It would be like wanting to waste time. 

Now, while I was raving and crying, Jesus showed now one hand, now one arm.  Then I saw the confessor giving me the obedience to suffer the crucifixion, and Jesus, as though forced by obedience, made Himself seen, and immediately I said to Him:  ‘Why were You not letting Yourself be seen?’  And He, showing a serious appearance, said:  “It is nothing, it is nothing… It is that I want to chastise the earth, and if I am in good relations even with one creature, I feel disarmed and I have no strength to lay hand to the chastisements, because when I make Myself seen, if you see that I have to send chastisements, you begin to say:  ‘Pour them into me – make me suffer’; and I feel conquered by you, so I never lay hand to the chastisements, and men do nothing but grow bolder.”

Now, as the confessor continued to repeat the obedience of making me suffer the crucifixion, Jesus showed Himself slow in letting me do this obedience, not like the other times in which He immediately wanted me to submit myself.  He said to me:  “And you, what do you want to do?”  And I:  ‘Lord, whatever You want.’  So, turning to the confessor with a serious aspect, He said to him:  “You too want to bind Me by giving her this obedience to suffer?”  And while saying this, He began to share the pains of the cross with me.  Then, showing Himself appeased, He poured His bitternesses, and then He added:  “Where is the confessor?”  And I:  ‘Lord, I don’t know where he went; indeed I don’t see him with us any more.’  And He:  “I want Him, because just as he refreshed Me, I want to refresh him.”