The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

September 4, 1900

Impurities and good works done badly are a disgusting and insipid food for Jesus.

After I received Communion, my adorable Jesus transported me outside of myself, making Himself seen highly afflicted and embittered.  I prayed Him to pour His bitternesses into me, but Jesus would not pay attention to me; however, as I insisted, after a long time He pleased to pour.  After He had poured a little bit of bitterness, I asked:  ‘Lord, don’t You feel better now?’  And He:  “Yes, but it was not what I poured that gave Me so much pain; rather, it was a disgusting and insipid food that does not let Me rest.”  And I:  ‘Pour a little into me, so You will be relieved a little.’  And He:  “If I cannot digest it and bear it, how could you?”  And I:  ‘I know that my weakness is great, but You will give me grace and strength, and so I will be able to contain it within myself.’  I understood, however, that the disgusting food was the impurities, and the insipid food was the good works done badly, all scrambled, which are rather of bother and of weight for Our Lord.  He almost despises receiving them, and unable to bear them, He wants to pour them out of His mouth.  Who knows how many of mine there are too! 

So, almost forced by me, He also poured a little bit of that food.  How right Jesus was! – the bitter was more tolerable than that disgusting and insipid food!  If it were not for love of Him, I would not have accepted it at any cost.

After this, blessed Jesus placed His arm behind my neck, and leaning His head on my shoulder, He placed Himself in the act of wanting to take rest.  While He was resting, I felt I was in a place in which there were many movable tiles, and underneath them, the abyss.  Fearing I might fall, I woke Him up, invoking His help, and He said to me:  “Do not fear, this is the path that all cover.  It takes nothing but all of one’s attention; and since the majority walk carelessly, this is why many fall into the abyss and few are those who reach the harbor of salvation.”  After this, He disappeared and I found myself inside myself.