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Though my little soul swims in the sea of the Divine Will, I still feel the piercing nail of the privation of my sweet Jesus. My God, what a harrowing pain, what a torture is my painful existence! Oh! how I would like to shed rivers of tears! If it were possible, I would like to transform the very immensity of the Divine Will into bitter crying, to move my sweet Jesus to pity, who flies away from me, but without even telling me the place of His dwelling, or showing me the way, the mark of His steps, that I might be able to reach me. My God! My Jesus! How can You not be moved to compassion for this little exiled one, tormented only for You, and because of You?
But while raving from His privation, I was thinking to myself about the Divine Will, and I feared that Its dominion, Its life, might not be present in me, and because of this my Eternal Love, Jesus, leaves me, hides, and does not care about me; and from the heart I was asking for His forgiveness. And my beloved Jesus, after much struggling of mine, having compassion on me for I could bear no more, came back for just a little, and looking at me with love, all goodness, told me: “My little daughter of my Will, it shows how you are little, and it is enough for Me to make a little pause, that you get lost, you fear, you doubt, you oppress yourself. But do you know where you get lost? In my Will. And I, seeing you in It, do not hasten my coming because I know that you are in a safe place.
Now, you must know that when a soul does my Divine Will, I can freely do whatever I want in the soul, and operate the greatest things. My Will empties her for me of everything, and forms the space in which I can put the sanctity of an infinite act of mine; and the soul places herself at Our disposal. Our Will has matured her, and has rendered her adaptable and fit for receiving the creative and operative virtue of Our Supreme Being. On the other hand, when one does not do Our Divine Will, We have to adapt Ourselves, restrict Ourselves, nor can We be generous according to Our divine manner. We have to give Our graces sip by sip, while We can give rivers. Oh! how heavy it is for Us to operate in one who does not possess Our Will! If We want to make Ourselves known, she is incapable, because the human intelligence without Our Will is like a foggy sky which, obscuring the beautiful light of reason, is as though blind before the light of Our knowledges. So, it may be there in the midst of the light, but incapable of comprehending anything; it will always be illiterate before the light of Our truths. If We want to give Our sanctity, beauty and love, We have to give them in small doses, as though broken into small pieces, because the human will is cluttered with miseries, with weaknesses and defects, therefore it becomes incapable and also unworthy to receive Our gifts and what We want to give her. Poor human volition - without Our Will it cannot adapt itself to receiving the virtue of Our creative works, the strong embraces of its Creator, Our loving stratagems, the wounds of Our love; and many times it tires Our divine patience and forces Us not to give it anything; and if Our love forces Us to give something, it is for it like a food that it cannot digest because, not being united with Our Will, it lacks the strength and the digestive virtue to digest what belongs to Us.
Therefore, it shows immediately when Our Will is not present in the soul: true good is not for her; before the light of my truths she goes blind and becomes more stupid; nor does she love to know them - on the contrary, she looks at them as if they did not belong to her. The complete opposite for one who does and lives in my Will.”
Fiat!!!
