The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

October 15, 1900

Fight between the confessor and Jesus for the crucifixion of Luisa.

This morning, after I received Communion, blessed Jesus let me hear His voice saying: "My daughter, this morning I feel all the necessity to be refreshed. O please! Take my pains upon yourself a little bit, and let Me take some rest in your heart." And I: ‘Yes, my Good, let me feel your pains, and while I suffer in your place, You will have all the ease to be able to refresh Yourself and take some sweet rest. I only ask of You to wait a little longer until I remain alone, so that no one may see me suffer, because it seems to me that the confessor is still here.’ And He: "What does it matter if father is present; wouldn’t it be better if, instead of one, I had two refreshing Me? - that is, you, suffering, and he, concurring with Me with my same intention?"

At that moment, I saw the confessor placing the intention of the crucifixion, and immediately, without the slightest hesitation, the Lord shared with me the pains of the cross. Then, after I was in those sufferings for a little while, the confessor called me to obedience, Jesus withdrew, and I tried to submit to the one who commanded me; when, in one instant, my sweet Jesus came back again, wanting to subject me to the pains of the crucifixion for a second time, but father did not want it. When I would conform to Jesus – that is, to suffering – Jesus would come; when the confessor would see that I would begin to suffer, he would stop the suffering with the obedience, and Jesus would withdraw. I would suffer a great pain indeed on seeing Him withdraw, but I would do as much as I could to obey; and at times, seeing the confessor present, I would let Them deal with it, waiting to see who would win - whether obedience or Our Lord. Ah, I seemed to see obedience and Jesus fighting – both powerful and capable of facing a fight. After they fought well, as I tried to see who was winning, the Queen Mama came who, drawing near father, said: "My son, this morning in which He Himself wants her to suffer, let Him do, otherwise none will be spared the chastisements, not even in part." At that moment, it was as if father was distracted in going on with the fight, and Jesus, the winner, subjected me to the pains again, but with such vehemence and bitter spasms, that I myself do not know how I remained alive. When I thought I was dying, obedience called me again, and I just barely found myself inside myself. Blessed Jesus, being refreshed but not yet content, upon coming back, wanted to repeat it for the third time; however, arming herself with strength, this time obedience won, and my beloved Jesus was defeated.

In spite of this, every now and then He would try – who knows, He might win again; so much so, that He gave me no respite, and I had to say: ‘But, my Lord, keep still a little bit and leave me alone – don’t You see that obedience has armed herself and does not want to yield to You? So, have patience, and if You want to repeat it the third time, promise me that You will let me die.’ And Jesus: "Yes, come." I told this to father and, also in this obedience was inexorable, even though my sweet Good was calling me, saying: "Luisa, come." I said He was calling me, but the answer was a curt "no". What a nice obedience this is; since she wants to act in everything and over everything like a Signora [Lady], she wants to meddle in things which do not belong to her, like dying. Besides, how nice - exposing a poor unhappy one to the dangers of dying, letting her touch the harbor of eternal happiness with her own hand; and then, to show that she can act like a Signora in everything, by dint of the strength she possesses she holds her back and makes her lie in the miserable prison of her body. And if one asks: "Why all this?" – first, she does not answer; and then, in her mute language she tells you: "Why? Because I am a Signora and I have empire over everything." It seems that if one wants to be at peace with this blessed obedience, it takes the patience of a saint - not only that, but the patience of Our Lord Himself; otherwise one would be in continuous frictions with her, because this is about her wanting to touch the extremes.

So, seeing that He could win nothing, the blessed Lord calmed down at the obedience and left me alone. He mitigated the pains I was suffering, and said to me: "My beloved, in the pains you have suffered I wanted to have you experience the fury of my Justice by pouring it upon you a little bit. If you could see with clarity what point men have made It reach, and how the fury of my Justice has armed itself against them, you would tremble like a leaf, and would do nothing but pray Me to pour the pains upon yourself." Then He seemed to sustain me in my sufferings, and to cheer me, He said: "I feel better, and you?" And I: ‘Ah, Lord, who can tell You what I feel! It seems to me as if I had been crushed inside a machine. I feel such exhaustion of strengths, that if You do not infuse vigor in me, I cannot come round.’ And He: "My beloved, it is necessary that you feel the pains with intensity, at least once in a while – first, for yourself, because as good as a piece of iron may be, if it is left for a long time without putting it in the fire, it always comes to contract a little bit of rust; second, for Me, because if I did not unload Myself upon you for too long, my fury would become so ignited that I would have no regard for the world, nor would I spare it in the least. And if you did not take my pains upon yourself, how could I maintain my word of sparing the world the chastisements in part?" After this, the confessor came to call me to obedience, and so I returned inside myself.