The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

March 19, 1903

True love is that of one who, in suffering for God, wants to suffer more.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, come to my help, bind this rebellious will of mine that always wants to be recalcitrant against holy obedience. It puts me into such constraint, that while sometimes it seems to be dead, then more than ever, I feel it alive in me, like a snake, and it consumes me inside. Therefore, bind me with new ropes; or rather, fill me with your holy and adorable Will to the point of overflowing outside, in such a way that my will may be consumed within Yours. Only then will I be able to have the happiness of fighting no more against holy obedience. And you, O holy obedience, forgive me if I always wage war against you, and give me the strength to be able to follow you placidly in everything, for sometimes it seems I have all the reason to fight against you, like in this writing about the confessor… But, enough, let us keep silent, let us hesitate no more, and let us begin to write.

Since my past confessor was very occupied – in fact, during the course of the years in which he directed me, when he could not come, the present confessor would come, though I had never thought I would find myself in the hands of this one; more so, since I was happy with that one, and he had all my trust - …about one and a half years before the present one became my confessor, as I was in my usual state blessed Jesus told me that He was not happy with the fact that the confessor no longer interested himself with my interior, and with the way he cooperated with Our Lord over my state, telling me: "When I place victim souls in the hands of a confessor, the crafting of their interior must be continuous. Therefore, tell him: either he corresponds to Me, or I will put you in the hands of someone else."

And I: ‘Lord, what are You saying? Who will be so patient as to take upon himself this cross of having to come every day to sacrifice himself like this confessor?’ And Jesus: "I will give light to the present confessor, appointing him, and he will come." And I: ‘How impossible it is that he will take up this cross!’ And Jesus: "Yes, he will come; and besides, when he does not listen to Me, I will send him my Mother; and he, who loves Her, will not deny Her this favor. Indeed, when one truly loves someone, he does not send him back. However, I want to see what this one does for a little longer; and you, tell him everything I have told you."

When the confessor came, I related everything to him, but, poor one, a new occupation he had undertaken made it impossible for him to occupy himself with my interior. It really showed that it was not his will, but the impossibility for him to occupy himself with me. When I would tell him, he would devote himself better, but soon he would return to not bothering about it, like before. Blessed Jesus would lament about him, and I would repeat it to the confessor. One day he himself sent me the present father, and I opened my soul to him also, telling him everything I have said, and he accepted to come. I was surprised at how he said yes, and I said to myself: ‘Jesus was right.’ But soon the surprise ceased; I am unable to say how, but it lasted as long as a shadow, which quickly disappears. He came for just two or three days, and then he was no longer seen. He too disappeared like a shadow, and I continued to remain in the hands of the past confessor, adoring the dispositions of God - more so, since I was happy with him, who had made so many sacrifices because of me. After another year or so had passed, I felt a need of conscience and I told the past confessor, who said to me: "I will send you Fr. Gennaro" – that is, the present father, who would be invested with my necessity. I was concerned about a storm that had happened between them, but Jesus repeated: "Do not move things, I Myself have disposed everything, and everything that has been done, has been done well."

This morning I saw the confessor all humiliated, and also blessed Jesus and Saint Joseph, who said to him: "Get down to work, for the Lord is ready to give you the grace you want."

After this, on seeing my dear Jesus suffering as in the course of His Passion, I said to Him: ‘Lord, did You not feel tiredness in suffering so many different pains?’ And He: "No, on the contrary, one suffering would ignite the heart more to suffer another one. These are the ways of Divine Suffering; not only this, but in suffering and operating, It looks at nothing but the fruit It receives from it. In my wounds and in my blood I saw nations saved and the good that creatures would receive; and my Heart, instead of feeling tiredness, felt joy and ardent desire to suffer more. So, this is the sign that what one suffers is participation in my pains: that there is suffering united with joy to suffer more; that in operating, one operates for Me; that one does not look at what he does, but at the glory he gives to God, and at the fruit he receives."