The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

December 4, 1904

It is easier to fight with God than with obedience.

As I was very agitated, and with the fear that blessed Jesus no longer wanted me in this state, I felt an interior strength to go out of it, and this strength I felt within me was so great that, unable to contain it, I kept repeating:  ‘I feel tired, I cannot take any more.’  And in my interior I heard being said to me:  “I too feel tired, I can take no more, it is necessary that you remain completely suspended from the state of victim for a few days, so as to let them make the decision for wars; then I will make you fall again.  And then, when they do make the wars, we’ll see what should be done with you.”  I did not know what to do; obedience did not want it, and fighting with obedience is the same as surmounting a mountain that fills the earth and touches the heavens, and without a path on which to walk – therefore, insurmountable.  I don’t know whether this is foolishness, but I believe that it is easier to fight with God than with this terrible virtue.  

So, agitated as I was, I found myself outside of myself in front of a Crucifix, and I said:  ‘Lord, I can take no more, my nature has failed me; I lack the necessary strength to be able to continue in this state of victim.  If You want me to continue, give me the strength, otherwise I quit.’  While I was saying this, a fountain of Blood gushed out from that Crucifix, toward Heaven, and falling back over the earth it converted into fire.  Several virgins were saying:  “For France, Italy, Austria and England…” - and they were mentioning other nations, but I did not understand well – “Most grave wars are prepared, civil and governmental.…”  On hearing this, I became all frightened, and I found myself inside myself.  I myself could not decide what I should follow – whether the interior strength that pushed me to go out [of the state of victim], or the strength of obedience that pushed me to stay.  Both of them were strong and powerful over my weak and poor being.  So far, it seems that obedience prevails, though with difficulty, and I don’t know where I will end up.