The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

December 5, 1903

How the holy desire to receive Jesus makes up for the Sacrament, in such a way that the soul breathes God, and God breathes the soul.

Since this morning I could not receive Communion, I was all afflicted, though resigned, and I thought to myself that if I had not been in this position of being bedridden and of being victim, I would certainly have been able to receive Him.  And I said to the Lord:  ‘You see, the state of victim subjects me to the sacrifice of depriving myself of receiving You in the Sacrament.  At least accept the sacrifice of depriving myself of You to content You as a more intense act of love for You, because, at least, thinking that the very privation of You proves my love for You more, sweetens the bitterness of your privation.’  And as I was saying this, tears were pouring from my eyes; but – oh, goodness of my good Jesus! – as soon as I began to doze off, without making me wait and search for a long time, as usual, immediately He came, and placing His hands on my face, He caressed me and said:  “My daughter, poor daughter, courage, the privation of Me excites the desire more, and in this excited desire the soul breathes God; and God, feeling more ignited by this excitement of the soul, breathes the soul.  In this breathing each other - God and the soul - thirst for love ignites more, and since love is fire, it forms the purgatory of the soul, and this purgatory serves her, not as just one Communion a day, as the Church allows, but as a continuous communion, just as the breathing is continuous.  But these are all communions of most pure love – only of spirit, not of body; and since the spirit is more perfect, as a consequence, love is more intense.  This is how I repay, not one who does not want to receive Me, but one who cannot receive Me, depriving himself of Me to content Me.