The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

February 7, 1904

How difficult it is to find a soul who gives all of herself to God, so that God may give all of Himself to her.

I spent the whole last month in much suffering, therefore I omitted writing; and as I continue to feel very weak and in suffering, very often a fear comes to me that it isn’t that I cannot write, but that I do not want to, and as an excuse I say that I cannot.  Indeed it is true that I feel great repugnance and I must make a great effort to write, and only obedience could conquer me.  So, in order to remove any doubt I decided to write, not everything, but only a few words that I remember, to see whether I truly can or cannot.             

I remember that one day, as I was feeling ill, He told me:  “My daughter, what will happen if the music ceases in the world?”  And I:  ‘Lord, what music should cease?’  And He added:  “My beloved, your music.  In fact, when the soul suffers for Me, prays, repairs, praises, thanks continually, this is continuous music to my hearing, which takes Me away from hearing the iniquity of the earth, and therefore from chastising as appropriate.  Not only this, but it is music in the human minds, and it diverts them from doing worse things.  So, if I take you, would the music not cease?  For Me it is nothing, because it would be nothing other than transporting it from the earth to Heaven, and instead of having it from the earth, I would have it in Heaven.  But how shall the world go on?”

Then, I was thinking to myself:  ‘These are the usual pretexts so as not to take me.  There are so many good souls in the world, who do so much for God, and among all of them I perhaps occupy but the last place, and yet He says that if He takes me the music would cease?  There are so many who do it better for Him!’  While I was thinking of this, He came like a flash and added:  “My daughter, what you say is true – that there are many good souls who do much for Me – but how difficult it is to find one who gives Me everything so that I may give all of Myself.  Some retain a little bit of love of self, some self-esteem, some one affection, be it even for holy people; some a little vanity; some retain a little bit of attachment to the earth, some to interest.  In sum, some a little thing, some another – all keep something of their own, and this impedes that everything be divine in them.  So, since what comes from them is not fully divine, their music will not be able to produce those effects to my hearing and to the human minds.  Therefore, their much doing will not be able to produce those effects, nor please Me as much as the little doing of one who keeps nothing for herself, and who gives herself completely to Me.”