The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

June 23, 1906

Obedience makes her continue to live in the world as victim.

Continuing to feel ill, I told the confessor what I have written above, keeping silent about a few things regarding the same topic, partly because of the extreme weakness I felt, as I had no strength to speak, and partly out of fear that obedience might set some trap for me. Oh, Holy God, what fear! God alone knows how I live – I live dying continuously, and my only relief would be dying to find my life again in God. Yet, obedience wants to act as a cruel executioner, keeping me dying continuously, rather than living forever in God. Oh, obedience, how terrible and strong you are!

So, the confessor told me that he would not permit it, and that I was to tell the Lord that obedience did not want it. What a most bitter pain! So, finding myself in my usual state, I saw Our Lord, and the confessor praying Him not to let me die. Fearing that He might listen to him, I was crying, and the Lord told me; "Daughter, be quiet, do not afflict Me with your crying. I have every reason to take you because I want to scourge the world, and out of regard for you and your sufferings I feel as though bound. But the confessor is also right in wanting to keep you on earth, because – poor world, poor Corato – in the state in which it finds itself, what would happen to it if no one protects it? And also for himself, because since you are there, I make use of you, sometimes directly, saying something regarding him, and sometimes indirectly, now reprimanding him, now pushing him, now keeping him from doing something that may displease Me. So, if I call you to Myself, I will make use of his sufferings. But, courage, as things are now, I feel more disposed to make you content rather than the confessor, and I Myself will know how to change his will."

Then I found myself inside myself, without having told Him that obedience did not want it – it did not seem necessary to me to say it because, since I had seen the confessor together with Our Lord, it seemed to me that he would already know everything.