The Book of Heaven
—Unofficial Version—

January 22, 1909

When God is debtor of the soul.

I was thinking about the many privations of Our Lord, and about the fact that once, years ago, after I had waited for Our Lord for a few hours, when He came I lamented to Him for He had made me struggle so much for His coming, and blessed Jesus told me: "My daughter, when I surprise you, anticipating your yearnings for Me, and I come without having you wait, then you are my debtor. But when I have you wait for some time and then I come, I become your debtor – and do you think it is trivial that a God gives you the occasion to make Him your debtor?"

And I was saying to myself: ‘At that time, it was hours, but now it is days – who knows how many debts He has made with me! I believe they are innumerable, because He has been having many of these whims.’ But then I thought to myself: ‘And what is the good for me to have a God debtor? I believe that to have Him as debtor or to be His debtor is the same for Jesus, because in one instant He can give so much to the soul as to equal and surpass the debts He has – and so, here is how the debts are canceled.’

But while I was thinking of this, blessed Jesus told me in my interior: "My daughter, you are speaking nonsense. In addition to the ‘spontaneous gifts’ that I give to souls, there are the ‘gifts of bond’. To the souls of the ‘spontaneous gifts’, I may give or may not – it is my choice, because no bond binds Me; but with the souls of the ‘gifts of bond’, as in your case, I am bound and forced to give them what they want, and to grant them my gifts. Imagine a gentleman and two persons; one of these two persons keeps his money in the hands of the gentleman, while the other does not. That gentleman may give to both one and the other; but which one is more sure to obtain in a circumstance of need – the one who has money in the hands of the gentleman, or the one who does not? Certainly the one who has the money will have all the good dispositions, the courage, the confidence to go and ask for what is deposited in the hands of that gentleman. And if he sees him hesitant in giving, he will say to him, frankly: ‘You better give it to me, and quickly, because indeed I am not asking you for what is yours, but for what is mine.’ On the other hand, if the other one goes, who has nothing deposited in the hands of that gentleman, he will go timidly, without confidence, and it will be up to the gentleman, whether he wants to give him some help or not. This is the difference that passes between when I am the debtor, and when I am not. If you could understand what immense goods are produced by having a credit with Me!"

I add that while I was writing, I was thinking to myself about some more nonsense: ‘When I am in Heaven, my dear Jesus, You will feel irritated for having made so many debts with me; while if you come now, since I become the debtor, You, who are so good, at the first encounter we will have, will cancel all my debts. But I, who am bad, will not let it go, and will demand payment for even a breath of waiting.’ But while I was thinking of this, He told me in my interior: "My daughter, I will not feel irritation, but contentment, because my debts are debts of love, and I desire to be the debtor more than to have you as my debtor. In fact, these debts which I make with you, while being debts for Me, will be pledges and treasures which I will keep in my Heart for eternity, and which will give you the right to be loved by Me more than others. This will be one more joy and glory for Me, and you will be repaid for even a breath, a minute, a desire, a heartbeat; and the more pressing and greedy you will be in demanding, the more pleasure you will give Me, and the more I will give you. Are you happy now?" I remained confused, and did not know what else to say.