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This morning, I was in a sea of affliction, for Jesus had not yet come; I felt such pain that I felt my heart being ripped out. When the confessor came to call me to obedience, for he had to celebrate Holy Mass, Jesus did not let even a shadow of Himself be seen, as He usually does. In fact, when He does not come, He allows His hand, or His arm to be seen; and especially on a day in which I receive Communion, as this morning, He Himself comes, He purifies me, and prepares me to receive Him in the Sacrament.
I was saying to myself: ‘Holy Spouse, lovable Jesus, how is this? Aren’t You coming to prepare me Yourself? How can I receive You?’ But meanwhile, the time came, the confessor came, but Jesus did not come at all. What a harrowing pain, how many bitter tears!
The confessor told me: "You will see Him at Communion, and out of obedience you will ask Him why He does not come and what He wants from you."
So, after Communion I saw my good Jesus, always benign with this miserable sinner. He transported me outside of myself, and I was holding Him in my arms; He was a child, all afflicted. Immediately I began to say: ‘My little Child, my sole and only Good, how is it that You do not come? In what have I offended You? What do You want from me that You make me cry so much?’ And in the act of saying this, my pain was so great, that even though I was holding Him in my arms, I kept crying. But even before I finished speaking the last word, drawing His mouth close to mine, Jesus poured His bitternesses, without answering a word. When He would stop pouring, I would begin speaking again, but Jesus would not pay attention to me, and would begin to pour again. After this, without answering anything of what I wanted, He told me: "Let me pour into you, otherwise, just as I have destroyed other places with the hail, I will destroy your area. Therefore, let Me pour, and do not think about anything else." He told me nothing else, and so it ended.
