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I was doing my round in the Divine Fiat, and I wanted to overwhelm everything – Heaven and earth – so that all might have one single will, one single voice, one single heartbeat. I wanted to animate everyone with my voice, so that all might say together with me: “We want the Kingdom of your Will.” And in order to obtain this, I wanted to be sea, to make the waters speak; sun, to give my voice to the light; heavens, to animate the stars and make everyone say: “Your Kingdom come – your Fiat be known.” I wanted to penetrate into the celestial regions to make all Angels and Saints, and the very Celestial Mama, say: “Adorable Trinity, hurry, delay no more; we pray You, we press You, that your Kingdom descend upon earth, make Itself known, and reign on it as It does in Heaven.” Now, while I was doing this and other things, such that I would be too long in saying them on paper, I thought to myself: ‘And why so many insistences and cares of mine, such that it seems I can do nothing if I do not ask for His Fiat dominating upon earth?’ And blessed Jesus, moving in my interior, told me: “My daughter, if you knew who it is that pushes you, that makes you insist so much, that would want to move everything in you to call the life – the Kingdom of my Will upon earth, you would be amazed.” And I: ‘Tell me, my Love, who is it?’ And He, all tenderness, added: “Do you want to know? It is my Will Itself that pushes you to this, because It wants to make Itself known, It wants to reign, but It wants the insistence of Its little daughter who, pressing It in every way and moving everything, would call It with everyone, with the most powerful means, to come upon earth. Your insistences are the sign and the image of Its yearnings and of Its infinite cares and insistences for It wants to give Itself to creatures; and just as you want to move everything, so would It want to move everything – the sea, the sun, the heavens, the wind, the earth – so that all might move the creatures to recognize It, to receive It, to love It. And as soon as It sees Itself desired, It will tear the veils of all created things, and, like Queen and Mother longing for Her children, It will come out of their bosoms, in which It was hidden, and revealing Itself, It will embrace Its children and will reign in their midst, giving them goods, peace, sanctity and happiness.”
After this, long days of privation of my sweet Jesus have passed. I was feeling tortured, exhausted of strength; so much so, that as I had tried to write what He had told me in the previous days, I felt myself in the impossibility of doing it. And He, seeing that I could not, and the great efforts I was making in order to write, came out from the depth of my interior, like one who is waking up from a long sleep, and with a compassionate tone, told me: “Poor daughter, courage, do not lose heart. It is true that the martyrdom of my privation is terrible, and if, hiddenly, I did not sustain you, you could not endure it alive. More so, since the One who martyrs you is my Divine Will, which is immense and eternal, and therefore your littleness feels all the weight of Its immensity, and feels itself being crushed under It. But, know my daughter, that this is Its great love for you, Its little daughter, and therefore Its light wants to restore, not only your soul, but also your body. It wants to as though pulverize it; and animating the atoms of your dust with Its light, with Its heat, It wants to remove any germ or humor of human will, so that both your soul and your body, everything, may be sacred in you. It wants to tolerate nothing, not even one atom of your being, which would not be animated and consecrated by my Will.
Therefore, your hard martyrdom is nothing other than the consummation of what does not belong to It. Don’t you know that the human will is the profaner of the creature? When it has its little ways, the slightest holes through which to enter into her, it profanes the holiest things, the most innocent ones. And my Will, which made of man Its sacred and living temple, in which to place Its throne, Its dwelling, Its regime, Its glory, feels that if the creature gives the little entries to the human volition, It feels Its temple, Its throne, Its dwelling, Its regime and Its very glory being profaned. Therefore, my Will wants to touch everything about you – even my very presence, to see whether Its dominion is absolute over you and you content yourself that It alone dominate you and have primacy in you. Everything in you must be Divine Will, so that It may be able to say: ‘I am sure, she has denied Me nothing – not even the sacrifice of the presence of her Jesus, whom she loved more than herself. Therefore, my Kingdom is safe.” On hearing this, I felt strengthened by His presence, and at the same time embittered by His words; and in my sorrow I said to Him: ‘My Love, so, You are not to come any more to the little and poor exiled one? And how shall I go on, how shall I be able to live without You?’ And Jesus: “No, no; and besides, where should I come from if I am inside of you? Remain in peace, and when you least expect it, I will reveal Myself, because I do not depart from you, but I remain with you.”
