✞ One begins to really live, when he begins to be a victim.
I was praying according to my usual way – that whatever I do, I do it as if I were doing it with Our Lord and with His own intentions. So, I was reciting the Creed, and without realizing it myself, I was saying that I intended to have the faith of Jesus Christ to repair for so many unbeliefs, and to impetrate the gift of faith for all. At that moment, He moved in my interior, and told me: "You are wrong, I had neither faith nor hope, nor could I have them, because I was God Himself – I was only love."
On hearing ‘love’, I liked so much being able to be only love that, not paying attention, I spoke some more nonsense, which was: ‘My Lord, I too would like to be like You – all love, and nothing else.’ And He added: "This is my goal, and this is why I often speak to you about perfect resignation, because by living in my Will, the soul acquires the most heroic love, and reaches the point of loving Me with my own love. She becomes all love, and becoming all love, she is in continuous contact with Me. So, she is with Me, in Me, and for Me she does everything I want; nor does she move or desire anything but my Will, in which all the love of the Eternal One is enclosed, and in which she herself remains enclosed. By living in this way, the soul almost comes to the point of dissolving faith and hope, because as she comes to live of Divine Will, the soul no longer feels in contact with faith and hope. Since she lives of the Will of God, what does she have to believe if she has found It and made of It her food? And what does she have to hope for, if she already possesses It by living, not outside of God, but in God? Therefore, true and perfect resignation is the mark of sure predestination, and the sure possession that the soul has of God. Have you understood? Think it over carefully."
I remained as though enchanted, and I said to myself: ‘Really, one can reach this?!’ And I almost doubted, saying: ‘Maybe He wanted to tempt me to see what I would do, to give me the field to speak more nonsense, and to show me where my pride reaches. However, it is good to speak some nonsense; at least one pushes Him to say something, and receives the good of hearing His voice, which restores one from death to life’; and I kept thinking of what other nonsense I could say... At that moment, He moved again and added: "It is you who want to tempt Me, not I you. And besides, stop doubting about my truths." And He kept silent. I felt confused, and I kept thinking of what He had told me; but who can say everything? These are things that cannot be expressed.