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This morning, continuing to make Himself seen afflicted, my adorable Jesus transported me outside of myself, and showed me the various offenses He was receiving. I began to pray again that He would pour His bitternesses into me. At the beginning Jesus did not pay attention to me, and He just told me: "My daughter, only then is Charity perfect when it is done for the sole purpose of pleasing Me; and only then is it called true Charity and is it recognized by Me, when it is stripped of everything."
Taking the occasion from His very words, I said to Him: ‘Jesus, my dear, it is precisely for this that I want You to pour your bitternesses into me – to be able to relieve You from so many pains; and if I pray You also to spare the creatures, it is because I remember well that on other occasions, after You had chastised the creatures, in seeing them suffer so much from poverty and other things, You too suffered very much. On the other hand, when I have been attentive and I have prayed You and importuned You to the point of tiring You, so much so that You were pleased to pour it into me, sparing them, afterwards. You have been very content about it. Don’t You remember? Besides, are they not your images?’
Seeing Himself persuaded, Jesus told me: "Because of you, it is necessary to make you content – draw near Me and drink from my Side." So I did; I drew near Him to drink from His Side, but instead of bitterness, I suckled a most sweet blood, which inebriated all of me with love and with sweetness. Yes, I was content, but this was not my intention; so, turning to Him, I said: ‘My dear Good, what are You doing? What comes out is not bitter, but sweet. O please! I pray You, pour your own bitternesses into me.’ And Jesus, looking at me benignly, told me: "Keep drinking, for the bitter will come afterwards."
So, I attached myself to His Side again, and after the sweet kept coming for a while, the bitter also came. But who can say the intensity of the bitterness? After I was satiated from drinking, I got up, and looking at His head which had the crown of thorns, I removed it and I drove it onto my head. Jesus seemed to be all compliant, while other times He had not permitted this. How beautiful it was to see Jesus after He had poured His bitternesses! He seemed almost disarmed, without strength, but all meek, like a humble little lamb – all compliant. I realized that it was very late, but since the confessor had come early in the morning to call me to obedience, it wasn’t that I knew that I was to be called by obedience, for at the obedience Jesus leaves me free. So, turning to Him, I said: ‘Most sweet Jesus, do not allow that I cause trouble to my family and bother to the confessor by having him come again; O please! I beg You, You Yourself, let me return into myself.’ Jesus told me: "My daughter, today I do not want to leave you." And I: ‘I too do not have the heart to leave You… but, just for a little while, to let my family see that I am inside myself, and then we will return to be together." So, after a long differing, saying good-bye to each other, He left me for a little while. It was precisely lunchtime, and my family was just coming to call me. But even though I felt I was inside myself, I felt all full of suffering, my head would not hold up. That bitter and that sweet which I had drunk from the Side of Jesus gave me such satiety and suffering together, that it was impossible for me to take anything else. The word I had given to Jesus kept me on tenterhooks; so, with the pretext that my head was aching, I said to my family: ‘Let me be alone, for I don’t want anything.’
So I was left free again, and immediately I began to call my sweet Jesus; and He, always benign, came back. But who can say what happened to me today; how many graces Jesus gave to my soul; how many things He made me understand? It is impossible to express it with words. Then, after staying for a long time, in order to calm my sufferings, Jesus poured sweet milk from His mouth, and then, around evening, He left me, giving me His word that He would come back soon. And so I found myself inside myself again, but a little bit more free of sufferings.
